Rejectee Therapy for NBCSI
Started by Daniel Miller on Apr 24, 2014
  • Hey Daniel -

    The panel sees a lot of episode ones that end with a 'to be continued,' I suspect for much the same reason that you ended yours that way: as a way of communicating to the audience that these adventures will continue. Unfortunately that oftentimes leaves the audience (and the panel) unsatisfied.

    To point to a recent example, the first episode of 'Darkrealm' told a complete story (Ian meets the wizard, saves his village, and defeats Demorge) while also setting up what the larger scope of the story is going to be (a quest to keep the Darkrealm from being opened). It was satisfying because the episode itself told a story while also laying pipeline for the future.

    I shared Dave's frustration in that you spent 90% of your show leading us in one direction (Bonnie tracking down the mole), only to kill her off, start a new story, and then leave that story unfinished. It felt like a prologue to what the show would actually be.

    You definitely have the goods to make awesome 101 stuff - your show looked and sounded great, it was well edited and directed, and your actors were talented. Hopefully the input you get here will help you on your next one!
    Apr 28, 2014 at 9:42pm
  • The idea was that Bonnie dying was the motivation for Jeff Zucker to find the killer and ultimately try to rebuild NBC, regaining his self confidence in the process. The cliffhanger was just a product of trying to tell a more serialized story within the 101 format. Thanks for taking the time to write out your thoughts.
    Apr 28, 2014 at 9:24am
  • You set up your main character and then killed her. Why'd you do that man? I liked her. I wanted to watch her take the first step toward saving NBC. You drew me in, then killed the character I was relating to, and then gave us a cliffhanger with no resolution.

    I loved the characters naming themselves in explicit terms, but other than that I couldn't really get on board with the concept.

    A lot of the conversations were a little redundant, too. You could trim a lot of fat. You could trim those three scenes (you only had three scenes) down to half their length, fit three more scenes into the show and actually complete your story in 5 minutes. An audience deserves to be told a complete story. They just wanna kick back and watch cool shows. Give them cool shows that move. Keep the story moving.

    I'd love to see what else you make. You clearly know how to get actors together and shoot something with good visuals and good audio. I'm excited to see what else you make.

    Hope this feedback helps.
    Apr 27, 2014 at 4:00pm
  • Thanks for taking a look.

    http://vimeo.com/92295538
    Apr 24, 2014 at 8:57am
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