on Apr 26, 2012
I was also on the panel. I love the energy of your show but I had no idea what was going on. It was like a grab bag of jokes. You guys are going to make some awesome stuff but like JD said you should fallow Dan Harmon story tutorials.
Like many channel 101ers I was rejected too many times to count before I got screened. The only way you can fail at film making is to give up. You better be submitting something for May!
May 01, 2012 at 8:40pm
Ben! I was on the panel. We really loved what you were going for, but you lost us pretty early on, I think it was due to the complex concept, maybe because you nutty teens mumble your lines. Seemed like you were going for a wacky and out of control vibe, but there was no clear story to hang it from. If you're going to go high concept, you have to be pretty clear about what we'll be watching early on, and focus on story more than outrageous moments. I'd link to the Dan Harmon story tutorials, but I don't know if they exists anymore. CAN ANYONE HELP!?
And speak clearly! Save the mumbling for when you get called on in History class. When you're trying to entertain a sophisticated Hollywood audience, check the marbles at the door.
Keep submitting! Clarify your story telling and structure. We're excited to see what you give us next.
May 01, 2012 at 4:40pm
I like that you went for a high-concept idea, but I think some more production value would sell the idea better. A lot of the scenes play in one medium shot. I'd suggest shooting more coverage, putting in more music for the action scenes, working on the sound quality, etc.
Also, structure-wise, about 90 seconds of the show were taken up by the teaser and the end credits. That's over 25% of the time limit. End credits are usually a luxury and it's always best to establish the premise of your show as quickly as possible so you can do more with the short time you have.
Keep submitting! It's what keeps things fresh around here!
Apr 30, 2012 at 8:40pm
Here it is: my 5th rejected pilot...tell me what you think
Apr 26, 2012 at 4:36am
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