on Mar 28, 2013
This was definitely one of the better pilots this month, and was well made. The ADR was out of sync in places, and that took us out of the story a bit. But overall it was shot and edited well.
Story wise, I think it could have been tightened up a bit. It was definitely an improvement from the script, but still a bit too front heavy. We already know the name, but it takes 1 minute and 35 seconds before we see the hand truck and really get the story going.
Bennie was really funny in this, but right away it lead to the conversation "are we laughing because it's funny, or because it's Bennie?". I was laughing because Bennie trying to do a drunk southern accent is amazing. The audience, on the other hand, might not have thought so. I still can't be objective about it, and don't really know the answer.
I think it was a great pilot for your first time. Definitely make another soon. It was so far ahead of our usual first time submission, that I wouldn't be surprised if your next one gets into the screening.
Mar 29, 2013 at 5:55pm
Hold nothing back!
Mar 28, 2013 at 10:45am
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