Feedback for "Robert" please and thank you.https://vimeo.com/367931712 (Password: Robert)
on Oct 24, 2019
Thank you Matt! We really appreciate the feedback. We'll keep at it. Your notes will definitely help.
Oct 26, 2019 at 10:49pm
First of all, this was a really tough month. We had the best pilots I've ever seen since I've been on panels.
This show had some nice jokes, the stock footage of the car going off the cliff got a big laugh at panel, and the asphyxiation joke was good, as was the robot book.
There were a few things that held this back for me--
- Too much going on. We got the partner thing and the witch thing, plus a detour into Robot porn. I know they are all connected, but in 5 minutes, you want to focus in on one story and tell it to completion
- The acting was too broad. What makes a silly concept work is when the actors play it straight and play it real for them. Watch Randall Park's 101 stuff, he is a master at this.
- You can up your sound design and music game. Filling out the sounds and music will help your stuff immensely.
But overall, there were some great jokes and a lot of promise. I hope you keep making stuff!
Oct 26, 2019 at 8:49pm
Thank you very much Clayton! I really appreciate you saying that. It takes a bit out if the sting of rejection.
Would someone on the panel be able to give us some constructive criticism as to what areas we can improve on in order to be selected for a screening? We'd appreciate any notes.
Oct 25, 2019 at 5:08pm
Keep making stuff and submitting. This was good. Some good jokes here and nice pay off at the end.
Oct 24, 2019 at 9:23pm
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