Rejectee Therapy for Hi, I'd love some feedback on my show. https://vimeo.com/263769205
Started by jason davison on Aug 30, 2019
  • I see potential here. Please keep working on stuff and submitting. I look forward to what you come up with next.
    Aug 31, 2019 at 3:28am
  • Hello Jason,

    First off you have a bit of a formatting issue with the forum here. No big deal though. Overall I liked your pilot but wanted to give some feedback.

    1) You uploaded it over a year ago. That plus the intro with lots of cool shots that aren’t in the episode lead me to believe you shot a couple episodes, nothing happened and now you are submitting it to Channel 101. This is frowned upon. Videos should be filmed and uploaded the month they are submitted.

    2) Pacing is off. The first 2 minutes nothing much really happens and I got bored. All we learn is that one character wants the other to leave and he invented a Dirty Torch. That information could be conveyed in about 30 seconds. That would leave you more time for the exciting part of your story with the other characters which as a result of this pacing feels very rushed.

    3) I’m often guilty of this myself but your whole video feels like we are in one room the entire time. Using different rooms of your apartment or going outside can make the video more visually interesting.

    4) Some editing/color issues 2:45 - 2:47 and 2:59-3:00. The color doesn’t match from shot to shot.

    I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer. The rest of my feedback is very positive. It’s very British. Reminds me of “Spaced” meets “Doctor Who”. I like the dialog and the actors especially Pete and the female lead. I also really like the effects. They are simple but effective. And I really like the ending shot which reminds me of “Twilight Zone”.

    My suggestion is to finish editing the “Schrodingers Flat” episodes you already shot. Upload them to Vimeo and then pitch that to BBC. Then shoot a new pilot next month for Channel 101.

    Good luck and keep making videos!
    Aug 30, 2019 at 11:37pm
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