Rejectee Therapy for Therapy me
Started by Dave Valdez on Oct 26, 2017
  • Hey Dave,

    Glad you submitted. This thing looks great and I dig the tone. I think Oliver called it. It definitely feels like a conclusive short with a punchline, rather than a show. For your next show, I would set up the premise quicker and get things moving a bit faster.

    I wasn't at the panel so I can't they didn't disqualify it for being 5:02 but I'd be surprised if they did. Especially since you have ending credits, which could've been trimmed.

    Do submit again and wow congrats on your performance in the Nick Burton finale, wowowow.
    Nov 10, 2017 at 2:12am
  • I think that firstly it needs to be under five mins, the link I clicked on was 5:02, may seem picky but that is instant exclusion by them. It also is definitely a short film and not a pilot. You don't really make 'a joke' until way too late into the pilot, and I think it might be stronger if you go straight for the laughs. For the bit where it was vague who the buddy was, the punchline to that (i.e. it being the dog) was ruined by the fact we knew a dog was coming from the title, it should have just been a funny surprise. The bit where the dog died was the funniest moment, and I love dogs, so you should work more in that vein I think. Also, it might just be me, but because the focus was originally on one guy and then the main character was actually his buddy, it was a little confusing when the focus shifted. I love your dog - more dog, more treats for him.
    Oct 26, 2017 at 5:48pm

    First time writing/directing/submitting/being rejected!

    Would love feedback with what worked and what didnít work. Thanks!
    Oct 26, 2017 at 4:50pm
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