Rejectee Therapy for LA Chronicles
Started by Edwin Li on Sep 29, 2017
  • Hey, there's some fun stuff in here. I really like the actor who is selling the fan in the first scene.

    I don't really find this story particularly compelling or funny. It's about a guy who wants to get a fan and he tries to negotiate at a yard sale but it doesn't work and then he tries to negotiate for an AC unit and that does work and that's it. There's some irony since he breaks the AC but there's really no pay off -- even him finding a fan doesn't feel satisfying in any way. For your next pilot, I would suggest finding a more compelling goal for your protagonist and sticking as many fun roadblocks in his/her path.

    Also, based on the title, I'm guessing this was meant to be an anthology show? It wouldn't hurt to set that up better if you were making another anthology show.

    Good luck! Come to the screening if you're in LA and hope you keep submitting!
    Sep 30, 2017 at 1:14am
  • Edwin Li says:
    Looking for feedback. Anything will be helpful
    Sep 29, 2017 at 10:51pm
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