on Feb 23, 2017
Yes music!!! That was what was missing most for me here. If you scored this like Apocalypse: Now or something similar it would have given us a much stronger sense of the world and the moments you were going for. Also I really didn't know what the over-arching story was here, so I'd take Adam's note of trying to go above and beyond with the story work when you're relying on inanimate objects
Mar 01, 2017 at 2:29am
Adam is right on. I would also add MUSIC can add so much to a video.
The visuals are a little muddy and grey, so it would be helped by some awesome sound design and score. This is 101 so feel free to use great works of musical art as your own.
Experiment with soundtracks to your favorite movies or try YouTube's free music library. https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary/music
Feb 25, 2017 at 9:03pm
I liked the premise and the aesthetic but I think it didnít resonate with me (as much as say, Time Thrifter, for example) because too much of this episode relies on leaning into the lo-fi elements of the production and itís at the expense of a clear story with well-defined characters.
In theory, using toy figures you already own instead of flesh meat actors should be a lot easier but it actually presents a whole new set of potentially tougher problems with pacing & movement and, most importantly, itís extra hard for the audience to connect with inanimate objects that canít emote facially so youíve actually gotta do even more story work to make that connection happen.
Thanks for submitting! Looking forward to your next pilot.
Feb 24, 2017 at 5:03pm
If you have a moment, dear sir or madam, please watch some of my failed effort here and leave me your feedback! Your honest feedback will someday translate into my success, so I thank you in advance for it!
Feb 23, 2017 at 4:07pm
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