Rejectee Therapy for Apartmates Pilot
Started by Jonathan Sterritt on Sep 24, 2015
  • I gotta disagree with Paul and Matt here a bit. Yes, we get a billion roommate submissions and yes, it's always a groan at the panel when we do BUT I don't think that matters. Pretty much all my shows are a married couple arguing in my house because that's the easiest location to get. Yes, they're right that leaving the apartment would help you a lot but that's not my biggest issue with this.

    My biggest issue is story. Yeah, it in a sitcom you have time to watch characters sit around and talk about whatever but this is five minutes. Set up the story, set up the character goals, and get running. I just rewatched this and I can't find a single character goal. You spent your five minutes kinda introducing the characters-- there's one who is sad to be dumped, there's one who is anal about pizza, there's one who I think is gay, there's girls who are girls, and they have another roommate which is a big cliffhanger (cliffhangers rarely work in 101 but that's also not super important). Rather than setting up characters by talking, find appropriate character goals based on the characters and reveal who they are through their actions. The dynamic of your main characters reminded me a lot of Swingers. Jon Favreau is sad to be dumped and Vince Vaughn is trying to get him out of his rut. But they don't just talk, they're out there doing stuff. They're going to Vegas, they're tying to meet girls. Things that would make sense as goals for somebody recently dumped. If you rewatch Swingers (or any movie you like), you'll notice that every character and every scene always wants something and we should know what that something is. I don't like when comedies have that sidekick friend that is there with no goal but to talk to main character.

    The other thing about Swingers is the tone is great. It's a really funny movie but it's also really sad. Your episode starts with a sad tone but immediately gets jokey. We all watch movies to feel things. I don't wanna throw away his depression. I wanna feel the weight of that. I think that could be helped in the writing and in the acting. I just left a post on another thread talking about jokey acting. All your actors knew they were making jokes and being funny. That's not fun to watch. 100% committed acting is the only way to go. And (ask any actor, I'm telling you they'll agree with me) the easiest way to get an actor to sink their teeth into a role is giving them clear, concrete character goals.

    Anyway, your production value is good. You can see everyone and you can hear everyone (not always the case in the pilots we get). Please keep submitting to 101.
    Sep 27, 2015 at 5:37pm
  • Matt Hill says:
    Agree with Paul. There was nothing that elevated this, but the production value was there and the acting was good.
    Sep 27, 2015 at 1:21pm
  • Every month we get at least two shows called "Roommates" or "Roomies" or "Two Guys with White Walls." The production quality was there, but y'all need to expand your scope beyond the apartment!
    Sep 24, 2015 at 11:36pm
  • Hey Everyone!...Thanks for checking out our video...we welcome any praise or constructive feedback you are able to give!

    Teamwork makes the Dreamwork!
    password: bluematch
    Sep 24, 2015 at 6:23pm
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